Handling Difficult Dynamics

One person talks too much, drowning out others.

In the moment:

• "Thanks, let's hear from others." Then call on someone.
• Use a talking token (only the holder speaks)
• "Let's do a round—everyone gets 1 minute."
• Timebox their contributions explicitly

Offline:

• Private conversation: "I need your help drawing others out"
• Pair them with a quiet person
• Give them a specific role that channels their energy

Someone rarely contributes, even when they have good ideas.

In the moment:

• Direct but gentle: "Alex, what's your perspective?"
• Silent writing before discussion
• Small breakout groups (less intimidating)
• Ask them about their area of expertise specifically

Longer term:

• Check in privately: "I notice you're quiet in meetings. How can I help?"
• Maybe they process differently—follow up via Slack/email
• Ensure psychological safety (see next lesson)

Two people disagree, tension is rising.

If productive (debate of ideas):

• Let it play out, but timebox it
• "What's the core disagreement here?"
• Ask others for input
• Document both positions

If destructive (personal, emotional):

• Interrupt: "Let's pause and reset."
• Acknowledge emotions: "This is clearly important to both of you."
• Take a break
• Suggest continuing offline: "Can you two hash this out and report back?"

Prevention:

• Set ground rules about attacking ideas, not people
• Establish safety for disagreement early

Someone keeps taking the conversation off-topic.

In the moment:

• "Interesting—let's capture that in the parking lot."
• "How does that relate to our goal for today?"
• Explicitly redirect: "We need to focus on X. Can we table that?"

Patterns to watch:

• Are they trying to avoid the actual topic?
• Do they feel unheard on their concern?
• Is the session agenda unclear?

If persistent:

• Private conversation about the pattern
• Maybe their concern needs its own session

Low energy, people checking phones, monosyllabic responses.

Diagnose first:

• Are they tired? Wrong time of day?
• Is the topic irrelevant to them?
• Are they upset about something unrelated?
• Is the format boring?

Interventions:

• Take a break (even 5 minutes helps)
• Change the format: stand up, move around
• Go smaller: pairs or triads instead of whole group
• Make it interactive: voting, sticky notes, drawing
• Address the elephant: "Energy seems low—what's going on?"